Fur Is Evil

Fictional Anti-Fur Protest by Raccoon Dogs at Google
Mountain View, California
April 22, 2009

In honor of Earth Day, a fictional anti-fur protest was staged this morning at Google’s headquarters in Mountain View, California.

The protest was small and unreal, but meaningful.

In an act of imagination rarely observed among fur farm animals, several raccoon dogs, including two infant white raccoon dog siblings, staged a fictional protest at the Mountain View, California, headquarters of online advertising giant Google.

“We were desperate,” stated Howard ‘Howie’ Haozi, the raccoon dog organizer of the protest (pictured left in attached photo).

“When, we heard from a human friend of ours that Google’s motto is ‘don’t be evil,’ we got this idea to travel to America and figure out what exactly they meant by. You know, because, from our perspective, what is done to us — as wild animals trapped in cages our whole lives and then skinned alive – we’ve got a pretty strong idea about what ‘evil’ feels like.”

INFANT RACCOON DOGS ASK WHY AMERICAN UNIVERSITY PRESIDENTS ARE PROFITING FROM THEIR SKIN

The two infant white raccoon dogs, Bumper and Thumper, carried small infant-sized protest signs and made what several bystanders described as “very adorable barking noises.”

When told that the Presidents of Princeton University and Stanford University are both highly-remunerated members of the Board of Google, little Bumper and Thumper broke down in tears.

“Why,” asked Thumper, sobbing, “would the Presidents of Princeton University and Stanford University near our skin to make money?

Asked Bumper, also sobbing, “Don’t their universities pay them enough?”

Drivers-by were encouraged to “Honk if You Hate Fur” and to “Honk Three Times if You Think Google Should Ban Fur.”

The protest was described as “fictional” due to certain limitations imposed on the participants, such as the grim reality of being locked away in small, grimy cages in hell-holes awaiting the next killing season, and the strict US immigration policies which can make it difficult for live raccoon dogs to get tourist visas.

(Dead raccoon dogs are quite easy to get into the United States, especially if their skin and bodies are separated.)

After picketing the front entrance to Google’s headquarters for about an hour, the three raccoon dog protesters adjourned to a local fictional sanctuary for escaped fur farm animals, saying they would be back again, hopefully with bigger numbers, to continue trying to move Google to compassion.